Joseph and Taylor square off in a no-holds-barred video game guessing game hosted by Willie. Join us as we stumble through a game we call The NOT the Leonard Maltin Game.
Joseph and Taylor square off in a no-holds-barred video game guessing game hosted by Willie. Join us as we stumble through a game we call The NOT the Leonard Maltin Game.
In this episode, Wilie introduces us to a guessing game he created called The NOT the Leonard Maltin Game—inspired by The Leonard Maltin Game from Doug Benson's podcast called Doug Loves Movies. In short, Willie chooses a game and reads a maximum of ten reviews for it. From least to most helpful review, Joseph and Taylor try to name the game with as few clues as possible. In general, expect a lot of wrong guesses, lol. We're limiting the spoilers here, but buried in the episode, Joseph—a pro gamer—magically guesses correctly with ZERO clues, and Taylor butchers the name of The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt. Let the Hunt to the Bloodborne begin!
Here's the full transcript for this episode.
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00:00:00
Taylor: You popped in and cut me off- [Willie laughing]
Joseph: No, no, we couldn't even hear you.
Taylor: -which is against etiquette.
Joseph: We couldn't even hear you.
[Alienated by ELFL plays in background]
Taylor: You need to pull it- put your hand up. Like if you want to say something, put your hand up, ok?
Joseph: No, Willie said we can shout it out when we had the answer.
Taylor: No. No, nah, nah, nah. I don't remember him saying that-
Joseph: He did. We can-
Taylor: -and I didn't hear it, so it didn't count.
Willie: I did think about making a version of this where you did, where I just read the quotes and you like buzzed in [Taylor laughs] using the chat.
Joseph: Oh.
Willie: Basically just like both of you like ready, the number one or something in the chat and just-
Taylor: Nah
Willie: -hit enter whenever you're ready.
Taylor: Because that comes down to ping. Nah, nah, [Joseph laughing] that's a ping thing.
Willie: I know. [laughing] That's exactly why I didn't do it. [Taylor laughing] That's why I didn't- didn't do it.
Taylor: That could be a hundred milliseconds is the difference between life and death, dude. No sir.
Joseph: Well, that's what happened, man. I had the answer, but you were on that delay.
Taylor: No, no, yeah, I was- yeah, you're right-
Joseph: You're on that country delay, so you didn't even hear me.
Taylor: I was on that delay. I should have been about, I should have been about 20 seconds in front of you. That's right. That's a good point, man.
Willie: I will, I will finish these out just so you know. We can talk about it a little bit. I guess my first question is, has, have either of you ever played this game?
Joseph: I, I actually haven't, I know it pretty well, but I haven't played it.
Taylor: I think I've played it, but I don't remember it at all. I, I, I wanna say I remember liking it.
[Alienated by ELFL fades out]
[Intro theme plays - Tiger Tracks by Lexica]
00:01:22
Joseph: What's up, welcome to Berries and Blades. Thanks for joining us for a casual conversation about video games. My name is Joseph and I'm here with my friends Willie and Taylor. And we're just three regular guys wondering if anyone in 2023 still keeps the volume on their phone turned up so that they can hear ring tones and text notifications.
But I digress. So what's up with y'all?
Taylor: I like to keep my phone volume up so that it wakes me up when I'm in a deep sleep. Mm. Basically in the deepest REM sleep I like to hear a, the pinging of a notification of an email that I got about some boner pills.
Joseph: [Laughs] Gee
Taylor: We're here.
Joseph: We here.
Taylor: We here. We out here, doing it.
Willie: I do turn mine on sometimes, obviously. Like or turn on the actual volume and turn it up every now and then. Actually, it's honestly what Taylor just said, that only if I'm like expecting a text message from somebody or something. Like if we're recording one of these and I'm like, I might oversleep and if they text me in the morning, I might wake up if somehow my alarm didn't. Maybe they'll text multiple times.
Joseph: Yeah. Interesting.
Taylor: It's optimistic.
Joseph: I can't remember when the last time I heard my phone ring or the text notification.
Willie: I can't either.
Joseph: Like it's been on silent for so long. Like not even vibration. Vibration. Not even on vibrate. Like I turned that off what feels like years ago.
Willie: I turned it off when we started recording and then it just kind of never got turned back on again. Like not this podcast, [Joseph laughs] but the old podcast.
Joseph: Really? [laughing]
Willie: When we started recording 40out back in 2019-
Joseph: Oh shit.
Willie: -I guess, or 2018 or whatever. That's when I turned them off because it was vibrating on the table when we were recording at that place, and it was just like-
Joseph: Mm-hmm.
Willie: I just turned it off and then I forgot one day and then I never turned it back on again.
00:03:02
Joseph: Yeah. Uh, all right. Well, in today's episode, we're gonna try something new. Willie's put together a competitive video game challenge for Taylor and me. But we only have a vague understanding of what we might be doing.
So Willie, why don't you take over and explain what's gonna happen.
Willie: I will try to give the clearest, most concise explanation of this that I can, but obviously ask any questions that you have as we go through it. And I think really part of this is, this is just a way for us to talk about a couple games that we haven't talked about yet, really.
Or maybe we have. I guess I shouldn't even say any of that, but give us an opportunity to talk about a couple of games today. This game is definitely inspired by other things that I've heard before. When I mentioned it to Joey, he, he immediately thought of, something called Jason and Deb's IMDB game, which is a thing from some, uh, a radio show in Austin, Texas.
It's not exactly that. It is definitely inspired by, uh, Doug Benson and his podcast Doug Loves Movies. He played something called the Leonard Maltin game for a long time. I'm not gonna explain it 'cause it's similar to what we're gonna do today, but not quite at all. 'cause we're talking about video games and we're not talking about actors in the video games.
I thought about doing that, but I don't know if any of us know voice actors well enough to be like, oh, these voice actors were in this game. Especially when there's so much crossover amongst all the games.
Taylor: Yeah.
Joseph: Probably not well enough.
Taylor: Mm-hmm.
Willie: Yeah.
Taylor: Yeah. That would've been a boring game.
Joseph: Who is Leonard Maltin?
Willie: He is a movie critic.
Joseph: Oh.
Willie: He has a book, uh, I think it just was called the Leonard Maltin book, where he reviews movies. He always gives 'em, you know, something, a score outta five stars and then does a short review on it.
I, I guess the short version of the story I'll give you is like Doug Benson and his friends used to use that book, the actual physical copy to like open to a random page, give a name of a movie, the number of stars he gave it, and read a couple of like pieces of the quote. Stuff that was not helpful at all, like, "He called this one surprising." you know, like just something that's not helpful at all. [Taylor laughs] But you would know the year of the release.
Joseph: Mm-hmm.
Willie: And you would get a list of the actors' names, not all of them, and you'll find out how that relates to this game in a second.
But you would sort of bid sort of name that tune style, which is what you're gonna do today. Like how much information do I need about this video game to get the answer. And in that, in their case, How many actors do I need to know in this movie to be able to guess the title of the movie?
Taylor: Okay.
Joseph: Okay. So we're trying to do it with the least amount of information possible.
00:05:24
Willie: Yeah. So I'm gonna have a set of things that I will give you about every game. In a moment, Joey, I'm gonna give you a couple of options.
Joseph: Okay.
Willie: So you'll know that this is an Xbox game, a PlayStation game. Whatever you choose from my list, I'm gonna give you.
Joseph: Mm-hmm. Fucked up, Taylor, letting me go first. I'm here to win.
Taylor: Get it.
Willie: And then, uh, I'm gonna give you both some information about the game. I'm gonna give you the North American release year, the ESRB rating.
Joseph: Oh, interesting.
Taylor: Hm.
Willie: And I'm gonna give you the, the genre according to IMDB.
Joseph: Mm-hmm.
Willie: Which is ridiculous. You'll hear.
Taylor: [Laughing] I bet it, I bet.
Joseph: Wait, IMDB?
Willie: Yeah, uhhuh. And then I'm gonna give you the genre according to Metacritic. So, you know what type of game it actually is. Like is it a first person shooter or a platformer?
Joseph: Mm-hmm.
Willie: You know, that sort of thing. So I'm gonna give you that information before you guys start taking turns bidding. So like, let me get to the like actual mechanic is that, I've got 10 quotes about the game that I've taken from some random reviews online. Some pretty like well-known sources that review things and some not so well-known sources.
So like, And I'll share all those in the show notes so that you can go read a review if you wanna go read a review about any of the games we discussed today. But, you know, GameSpot, IGN, some other lesser well-known things. I might have taken some quotes from their reviews, but I've basically taken 10 quotes from a variety of reviews.
Usually just a sentence, sometimes maybe more. I've organized those 10 quotes in a way that quote number one is like not very specific at all. It could probably be about any game in existence, right? Quote 10 is really specific, and I would have a hard time believing that if you got all 10, if I shared all of them with you, I'd have a hard time believing that you couldn't guess the game.
Taylor: Hmm.
Joseph: Okay.
Willie: Now you're not gonna get all 10. Right? When we open up the bidding, let's pretend for example, Joey like learns the title or learns the year of release of this game, knows it's on Xbox, and also knows that it's a, what type of game it is.
And he's like, oh, I'm super confident. I know what that is. I'm gonna say I need eight quotes. I'm gonna give you the top eight quotes unless, uh, Taylor says, well, I can do it in seven. Right? Taylor will have a chance. Maybe he's more confident because it's an Xbox game, the year that it's released he knows, and he knows like, that's the year this R P G came out that he could talk about forever.
So who knows? We're just gonna try it. We're just play testing a thing. I just like making games up. So we decided we'd try this to talk about a couple things today.
Taylor: Okay.
Willie: Any questions so far? Is that sorta of almost clear?
Joseph: I think it's clear.
Taylor: Seems pretty clear.
Joseph: Yeah. Let's try it.
Willie: Should we do a practice round actually?
Taylor: Yeah.
Willie: With something that's easier?
Taylor: Absolutely.
Joseph: Okay, sure.
00:08:02
Willie: So let's go for the practice round then, and I'll tell you. This game was originally released on Nintendo 64 and-
Joseph: GoldenEye 007
Taylor: Mario
Willie: [Chuckles] I'm telling you, it's originally released on this because some of the quotes may give you more information that say it's been rereleased or this person was reviewing the remake at the time.
Joseph: Mm-hmm. GoldenEye.
Willie: So at least you have a little more information.
Joseph: GoldenEye.
Willie: So you're not guessing yet, but you are going to know that it is rated T for Teen.
Taylor: GoldenEye.
Willie: It did come out in in 97. It is considered a action adventure thriller according to IMDB. It is in fact a first person shooter, and I do have 10 quotes here about it.
So Joey, let's say you are still going first for this practice round.
Joseph: Okay.
Willie: How many quotes do you need?
Joseph: What was the year again?
Willie: -to get a good idea.
Joseph: 97?
Willie: 97.
Joseph: Originally released on Nintendo 64, and it's a first person shooter. You said action, adventure, also thriller?
Willie: Yeah.
Joseph: Let's try three.
Willie: So, Taylor, do you want to go less than three or, uh, do you want Joey to name the game?
Taylor: Hmm. So if he doesn't get it, then what? I get three more or something?
Willie: Here's a a thing I was gonna ask. If I give him three and he doesn't get it, does it make sense for Taylor to also get a, a shot at the game with those same three?
Joseph: Yeah
Taylor: I think so.
Joseph: I think there's a way you can steal the point
Taylor: and then like one extra one.
Willie: Okay. So then I think that's what it is. I think it's literally just. You get the same.
Joseph: Yeah. I think Jason and Deb did something pretty similar. Like you could steal, you could steal the point if the other person didn't succeed, but I forget all the details around that.
Taylor: Similar to, uh, Wheel of Fortune, I think in the bonus round or something.
Joseph: [laughing] Really? [Willie laughs] I don't remember that.
Taylor: Who knows?
Willie: I know. You can definitely fuck up and say the wrong name in Wheel of Fortune. Like mispronounce a word.
Joseph: Mm-hmm.
Taylor: Yeah. Oh yeah.
Willie: And then the next person gets it.
Joseph: Right.
Willie: There's that real famous one of that person saying, uh, damn. What was it? They said the name Achilles, but instead of saying Achilles, they said Ackalus or
Taylor: [Laughs] Oh no.
Willie: Or Atchalus [Joseph laughs] or something like that.
Joseph: I'm sorry. No, that's incorrect.
Willie: And then they're like, sorry, it's wrong. [Laughter]
Taylor: Dang.
Willie: And then the next person went, and I'm pretty sure that's not a fake clip. I mean, it could be.
Taylor: Wow
Willie: But I'm pretty sure like it happened.
Taylor: The irony that-
Joseph: That's rough.
Taylor: -their Achilles' heel was the... [Willie laughs]
Joseph: pronunciation of the word Achilles.
Taylor: Ah-chili. Yeah.
Willie: Yeah, maybe just never heard it out loud. Maybe had read it. You know? I feel like there's a lot of things like that that you-
Taylor: Dude.
Willie: -just read over and over again, but never, no one's ever said it out loud.
Joseph: Mmhmm.
Taylor: Orion's name. You'd be amazed. Literally like one out of two people that see his name, a major constellation, say Oh-ree-own, Oh-ree-own, like [chuckles] almost like a Japanese flare on it or something, or Spanish.
But, um, I'm just like, Orion, have you? [laughs] You know, nothing like one of the- of all the constellations. I mean, I don't even know many of 'em, but I feel like that is, have you ever seen a movie and at the beginning-
Joseph: Mm-hmm.
Taylor: -it says, Orion. You've been saying Oh-ree-own. Let's go.
Joseph: So, Taylor, what did, did you say you're gonna try to do it in fewer?
Taylor: Uh, yeah, I'm gonna do it in, uh, no, no, no. I, I'm gonna let you go for it and then I'm gonna wait.
00:11:05
Willie: Okay. So I'm giving you three. These are the three least helpful clues, right? Whenever you go this low, it's-
Joseph: Oh fuck, I forgot they're not helpful.
Willie: [laughs] It might be, right. This first one, maybe not so much.
Taylor: So are these from reviews? Is that what you said? That these were?
Willie: It's just a quote from a review.
Taylor: Okay, perfect.
Willie: Usually just a random sentence.
Taylor: Great.
Willie: You'll see as they play out.
Taylor: It's not gonna be helpful. Okay.
Willie: So one is "Also the characters in the game look really good."
Joseph: Uhoh.
Taylor: Ah
Joseph: Okay.
Willie: Alright. Second quote is, "the music in this game is absolutely perfect and adds a lot of ambiance to the game. For instance, one of the later levels starts in an elevator complete with laid back elevator music."
Joseph: Hmm.
Willie: And obviously you're free to talk as much as you want here, but if you say anything out loud, you are giving the other person some clues.
Joseph: Mm-hmm.
Willie: As well.
Joseph: Mm-hmm.
Willie: If you're like thinking through your thinking.
Joseph: And so I can do it sooner than three, right?
Willie: You could do it sooner, but I do have one more to give you if you want.
Joseph: Okay.
Willie: Which is, "Perhaps the most important part of the game is learning how to think like the enemy before you enter into a situation."
Taylor: Oh, man. I know it. I know it. That's such a helpful one. I know it.
Joseph: Are you sure?
Taylor: Go ahead and make your guess that's wrong, [Joseph laughs] and let me make the right guess.
Willie: As a reminder, originally released on Nintendo 64, 1997, rated T for Teen. IMDB listed as a action adventure thriller and Metacritic says it's a first person shooter, which it is.
Joseph: Can you reread the third quote?
Willie: [chuckling] "Perhaps the most important part of the game is learning how to think like the enemy before you enter into a situation."
Joseph: Nintendo 64
Taylor: Oh, you're putting too much thought into it. Now, we need a timer and we need timer music. [Joseph laughs] When you edit this, Joey, for your punishment for taking so long on this is put timer music in here.
Joseph: Don't tell me how to live my life. Oh man, I don't know.
Taylor: Live your life like this.
Joseph: The N 64 bit is throwing me off.
Taylor: When can I jump in and-
Willie: 15 more seconds
Taylor: -slam dunk him like Larry Bird on somebody that he slam dunked on.
Joseph: Fuck.
Taylor: Did that guy slam dunk? [Willie laughing] He was more of a shooter, huh? Dammit. Alright, well three point on you.
Joseph: Okay, well I don't know, so...
Taylor: Pfft
Willie: You can take a guess.
Taylor: That's not an answer.
00:13:17
Joseph: I'm just gonna stick with my original guess since I don't know and say GoldenEye 007.
Willie: It actually is.
Joseph: Oh [Joseph and Willie laugh] no shit!
Taylor: You son of a bitch.
Joseph: The elevator part kind of-
Taylor: Yeah. I don't remember that at all. But that is, that's, you ascend to the top of kind of a peak, um, at the beginning. Is that, is that that one? That's like the open-
Willie: No-
Taylor: Oh, ok.
Willie: I think this is later actually in the game, one of the later levels starts in an elevator and I don't know if they're talking about, literally talking about going to the, somehow that's part of the, the satellite that he's going to.
Taylor: Did anybody play the new one? Or, the remake, rather?
Willie: No. Only heard that it's bad.
Taylor: I did, I did hear that
Willie: And that sucks.
Taylor: Yep
Willie: I heard that it's like very unstable in its gameplay.
Joseph: The last clue is the one that threw me off actually and made me start thinking it could be a different game.
Taylor: Yeah. I was, I was gonna go with Doom. Same year.
Joseph: Yeah, that's probably a good guess too.
Taylor: Surprisingly, and Quake was a year after that.
Willie: Yeah. It would be a good guess. I was thinking about other ones, like I said, as as the clues get closer to 10, there are some more revealing things. So I'll give you just a couple of examples. So to sort of add to that conversation. 'cause one of the things that I put in here was "This configuration thus enables the gamer to move across the screen naturally with the analog stick. A more intuitive way than acclaimed, Turok: Dinosaur Hunter."
Taylor: Hmm. Which- how far down the clue list was, you could also be the height of a man's knee [Joseph and Willie laugh] and, and anger him so much.
Willie: Sadly, that one wasn't in here-
Taylor: Ooh
Willie: -but that the clue I just read was eight.
Taylor: Okay.
Joseph: Really?
Willie: On this list of 10, because I, I, because I feel like it least it tells you this isn't Turok, right?
Joseph: Yeah. Well, for context, can you read 10, the most revealing clue-
Willie: Sure.
Joseph: -for GoldenEye?
Willie: Yeah. Yeah. For 10 it says, [chuckles] "In fact, we can say with a clear conscience that GoldenEye 007 is the best single player, first person game on any system." [laughs]
Joseph: Oh wow. [laughing] Okay.
Taylor: Oh my gosh, I-
Joseph: That's not even a clue. That's just a fucking answer.
Taylor: Don't miss those days.
Willie: Yeah. When that was the best-
Taylor: That was the best.
[Laughter]
Willie: -first player game
Taylor: Yeah. That was, golly.
Willie: Didn't have to worry about shit.
Joseph: Uh, okay-
Taylor: Seriously.
Joseph: So what do I get? I get points. Or just one point for succeeding.
Willie: You would just get one point for succeeding and we'll, we'll count it.
Joseph: So there's no advantage to solving it early, if you can. If I ask for four-
Willie: No.
Joseph: -four quotes, there's no advantage to me doing it in two, I just, I can just do it.
Willie: Yeah.
Joseph: Okay.
Taylor: You also are starting with a handicap of negative 20 because you suck.
Joseph: Mm-hmm. Just got that shit. I guessed it before we even got any clues.
00:15:50
Willie: We did say that would be practice before we started. So if we need that, that's a tiebreaker for later. But are we gonna stick with the same order since, uh, Joey just got that one?
Joseph: That's good question. What do you thinking, Taylor? You're fucking punking out.
Taylor: What's up? What?
Willie: For the next one? Do you want to go now, even though that was a practice round, or do we want Joey to go first?
Taylor: Oh no, I want him to always go first. I want him to be embarrassed every time he falls down-
Joseph: This guy
Taylor: -and breaks his little chin on the, on the pavement.
Joseph: I did that once.
Taylor: I want be there. I wanna be there. Oh God. I bet that's
Joseph: I did that once.
Taylor: I bet that's incredibly painful. Yeah. I I, it's funny how many people I've met, and y'all have probably met, that have legit just eaten it right on their chin or something and have scars to prove it.
Joseph: I should have gone to the hospital to get stitched up.
Taylor: Oof
Joseph: But I didn't because I was super intoxicated.
Taylor: Dude, back in our days, man, that's, uh, back in the olden days, you just didn't go get stitched up for much. I, I bet young people nowadays do the same thing.
Joseph: Oh, hell yeah. That's started when I was a kid, man. My mom wasn't taking me to the hospital.
Taylor: Yep. Same. Yeah. I remember, um, specifically trying to, we were at the horse stables and I was trying to mow the grass with one of her pocket knives, and it was like the sharpest knife ever known to man, I guess. And I, uh, hit my finger with it and just like sliced it.
And she, yeah, only, uh, she just took me right over the horse trough and we just started, uh, [Joseph laughs] washing it in the horse trough. Then she just put the solve-all for everything, a glob of mentholatum on it, and then a bandaid. And still a scar today. And uh, I lived, but didn't have to, [laughter] because bacteria. But anyways.
Willie: Yeah, it's good that you still have that.
Taylor: Shout out to the old days.
00:17:29
Willie: All right, uh, Joey then, if he's gonna let you go first, I'm gonna let you pick between a, an Xbox release or a multi-platform release.
Joseph: Okay. I'll choose Xbox.
Willie: Okay. This game was released in 2003. It's rated T for Teen, IMDB says it's an action, adventure fantasy game, and it is a role playing game. Again, I have 10 quotes here.
Joseph: Okay, I'll try four.
Willie: You could start higher, you know, and see what Taylor says.
Joseph: Oh, right. We can go back and forth.
Willie: You can go back and forth on this bidding thing until someone says name it.
Joseph: Okay. Okay.
Willie: You don't necessarily have to go, like, maybe Taylor was gonna say eight and all you have to do is say seven. Who knows?
Joseph: Okay. How about, how about six?
Taylor: Nice. Okay. I'm gonna do four.
Joseph: Mm. Okay. Name it. I'll try to steal it.
Willie: Alright, so 2003, rated T for Teen, Action Adventure Fantasy, Role-Playing Game originally released on the Xbox.
Quote one is, "At times your conversations with NPCs actually lead you to make decisions to act one way or another."
Two is "Having that leeway to choose between either being a boy scout or a bully, thus helps to make the narrative feel that much more personal while also increasing replayability as there are plenty of instances where you can't help but wonder how things would've gone down if you said something else."
Taylor: Hmm.
Joseph: I know it Taylor.
Willie: You've got two more.
Taylor: Hmm.
Willie: So, uh, number three is "Additionally you also have a tree of feats, which govern things like proficiency with different weapon types or fancy new abilities to use in combat."
Taylor: Feats. I have two feets [Joseph and Willie laugh] on the end of my legs. So how many feets [laughing] do you think that? Okay. Anyways, go on. So I think I have one more.
Willie: Yeah. What constitutes a tree of feets then?
Taylor: Oh, that's, Ooh
Joseph: Lots of feet.
Taylor: That's a sick thing to roll up on, for sure.
Joseph: Revenant.
Taylor: [laughs] Yeah
00:19:23
Willie: Right four. "While paused, you can rotate the camera around to survey the situation, swap out armor, weapon and accessories, select the targets you want to attack-
Taylor: Ohh
Willie: -and input a sequence of four commands for each character."
Joseph: I got this shit, son. Oh, maybe I don't!
Taylor: Oh yeah, yeah, I was, um, so I was thinking, okay, so my guess. 2003. Man, that's such a weird time for action adventure RPG. Alright. My guess is Dragon Age?
Joseph: That's a good guess. I don't know when it came out, but that's a good guess.
Taylor: 2? No, just Dragon Age. Yeah. Yeah. But the original Dragon Age I don't think had all that.
It was the, it was actually like the new, like maybe three. Damn. Damn.
Willie: Is that your, uh, that's your final one? Dragon Age?
Taylor: No, that was just a play one.
Joseph: What?
Taylor: That was for pretend. [Willie laughs] Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The, my real one that I've been, uh, holding for a while was, since before Joey, is-
Willie: I was just asking because I have to confirm.
Joseph: Yeah. This dude is fucking stalling.
Taylor: My real guess for sure is probably like Mass Effect.
Joseph: Oh, this motherfucker.
[Taylor cackles]
Willie: That's, that's incorrect.
Joseph: Ohh
Taylor: Fuck!
Joseph: Okay. That, that was gonna be my guess.
Taylor: You can fail too, Joey. Uh, that wasn't my real guess. [Willie laughs] That was just, I was saying something to see what Joey did.
Joseph: No get outta here dude. Fuck this.
[Laughter]
Willie: Alright, so you got anything, Joey?
Joseph: Um
Willie: If that was your guess what else you got?
Joseph: Can you get, can you gimme the third clue?
Willie: Yeah, yeah, [chuckles] I can, if I can, if I can say it now. [Taylor snickers] Now thinking about Taylor's feet. [Joseph laughs]
Joseph: Oh yeah. No, no, no. Nevermind. Not that one. Um, how about the second one?
Willie: "Having the leeway to choose between either being a boy scout or a bully, thus helps to make the narrative to feel that much more personal while also increasing replayability as there are plenty of instances where you can help- you can't help but wonder how things would've gone down if you said something else."
Taylor: There's no way the name of it is in the, is in that hint.
Joseph: Yeah. And then the, the last clip number four
Taylor: Like that's too obvious.
00:21:19
Willie: The last clue is "While paused you can rotate the camera around to survey the situation, swap out armor, weapons and accessories, select the targets you want to attack, and input a sequence of four commands for each character."
Taylor: Huh
Joseph: Four commands for each character. Interesting.
Taylor: Yeah, that's the one that really threw me off. And the rotating the camera in pause. I feel like it's gonna be something super obvious, but-
Joseph: Probably is. I can definitely see that in my head. The, the pausing, rotating, surveying.
Taylor: Oh, well just, uh, in your head, scroll over to the menu that tells you the name of the game. And you're good. Get over there.
Joseph: That's what I'm trying to do.
Taylor: Oh. Oh, okay.
Joseph: Input four commands. That's the part that's throwing me off.
Taylor: Yeah, it's- well, I can't speculate with you because I'd probably give you the answers. [Joseph laughs]
Willie: I'm gonna give you 15 seconds.
Joseph: All right. All right. Let me think.
Taylor: [singing] We got a countdown timer and we gotta-
Joseph: What's the year, 2003?
Taylor: [singing] -get the guess.
Willie: Yep.
Joseph: Uh
Taylor: [singing] Do dee do bee boo boo boo boo yes
00:22:16
Willie: All right. I'm gonna ask for your guess.
Taylor: Nine. Seven.
Joseph: I'm gonna say Mass Effect 2.
Taylor: Five.
Willie: No, that's incorrect.
Taylor: Stupidest guess.
Willie: You were-
Joseph: Shut up, man.
Willie: You're both- [Taylor snickers]
Joseph: I knew it was wrong.
Willie: You're both on the right track though.
Joseph: Ok, ok.
Willie: No one gets a point for that, but I'm gonna keep reading the comments. You just shout out when you know what it is.
Joseph: Alright.
Taylor: Okay. For superiority. I get it. Let's do it.
Willie: Yeah. "The mechanics of battle mean that early game combat is a little lackluster as you watch your character miss with their blaster three times in a row."
Joseph: Blaster. Okay, next one.
Willie: Aside from all the expected RPG trappings, this game also features a variety of mini games that offer up a nice break from the us- usual action. These include a simple drag racing challenge, first person shooting from a turret on your ship and a blackjack like card game."
Taylor: I'm gonna have to pull up two-
Joseph: It's a Star Wars related game?
Willie: "As well as affecting your- the story. Your alignment also affects which allies will want to stay with the party and what force powers you have access to."
Joseph: [laughs] Uh, so is this-
Taylor: Star Wars-
Joseph: uh Knights of the Old Republic?
Taylor: -Knight of the Old Republic? [groans]
Willie: [laughing] Yep.
Taylor: I said it first!
Joseph: No hell nah.
Taylor: I win!
Joseph: I got it out before you.
Taylor: I win. No, no, no. I said "Star Wars Knights of the Old" and then rudely, you popped in and cut me off- [Willie laughing]
Joseph: No, no, we couldn't even hear you.
Taylor: -which is against etiquette.
Joseph: We couldn't even hear you.
Taylor: You need to pull it- put your hand up. Like if you want to say something, put your hand up, ok?
Joseph: No, Willie said we can shout it out when we had the answer.
Taylor: No. No, nah, nah, nah. I don't remember him saying that-
Joseph: He did. We can-
Taylor: -and I didn't hear it, so it didn't count.
Willie: I did think about making a version of this where you did, where I just read the quotes and you like buzzed in [Taylor laughs] using the chat.
Joseph: Oh.
Willie: Basically just like both of you like ready, the number one or something in the chat and just-
Taylor: Nah
Willie: -hit enter whenever you're ready.
Taylor: Because that comes down to ping. Nah, nah, [Joseph laughing] that's a ping thing.
Willie: I know. [laughing] That's exactly why I didn't do it. [Taylor laughing] That's why I didn't- didn't do it.
Taylor: That could be a hundred milliseconds is the difference between life and death, dude. No sir.
Joseph: Well, that's what happened, man. I had the answer, but you were on that delay.
Taylor: No, no, yeah, I was- yeah, you're right-
Joseph: You're on that country delay, so you didn't even hear me.
Taylor: I was on that delay. I should have been about, I should have been about 20 seconds in front of you. That's right. That's a good point, man.
Willie: I will, I will finish these out just so you know. We can talk about it a little bit. I guess my first question is, has, have either of you ever played this game?
Joseph: I, I actually haven't, I know it pretty well, but I haven't played it.
Taylor: I think I've played it, but I don't remember it at all. I, I, I wanna say I remember liking it.
00:24:29
Taylor: It was in that stint of kind of the first Star Wars open world or RPG games, maybe just RPG, but I really liked it.
Joseph: Those graphics, man. That shit is hard to look at today.
Taylor: It is.
Willie: Yeah. But it is obviously, it's a BioWare game, so It is. It is very much in the same-
Joseph: Yeah.
Willie: It is Mass Effect in Star Wars. So eight is, it would not help either of you, I don't think. Except tell you that it's a Star Wars game because you both sort of figured that out.
But, uh, "The Ebon Hawk is one of the most brilliant aspects of the game as well, and not just because of its design and- and not just because it's the design ancestor of the Millennium Falcon."
Joseph: Mm-hmm. Okay.
Willie: This is literally just the IMDB description, this one.
[Willie and Taylor chuckle]
Taylor: Oh, nice. For number 10.
Willie: Yeah, for number nine.
Taylor: Okay.
Willie: "A Republic soldier training to become a Jedi Knight is given the task of halting the conquest of Darth Malak by discovering a location of a weapon known as the Star Forge." Which I don't know if would be helpful at all to y'all if you've never played those games.
Taylor: Hmm. Without looking it up, there's no way I would've guessed this one.
Willie: Yeah. And then 10 is "Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic is the best game Bioware's ever made."
Joseph: Oh, so you looked it up!
Willie: And the Switch-
[Taylor laughs]
Willie: and the Switch port [chuckling] of the game is exceptional.
Taylor: Well, only, only after, like, I'm not looking it up, like while we're doing the point part, but after that it's, uh, all bets are off, son, I don't care. Bring in your ringer. Whatever you got, bring it in.
Joseph: Bring it in.
Taylor: Bring it in.
Willie: Right. Still no points on the board. I can't believe neither of y'all have ever played that game. I mean, or like Taylor, it makes sense that you would've played it, but probably haven't touched it since, since you're not-
Taylor: Yeah
Willie: -since you're not exactly a Star Wars fan like I am, but I've played that game-
Joseph: And because you're not a pro gamer.
Willie: -multiple times.
00:26:06
Joseph: 'Cause you're not a pro gamer like the two of us.
Taylor: No, I'm too re-, um, uh, speed running, uh, Farm Simulator 2023. Anytime I got a chance.
Willie: That reminds me I need to, I need to get back on Ranch Simulator. [Laughter]
I, I've been slacking.
Taylor: Dang.
Joseph: Oh my gosh.
Willie: I was playing Ranch Simulator for a while. It was pretty good.
Joseph: I thought that was just farm simulator. Is it really ranch?
Willie: There's a different game that's Ranch Simulator-
Joseph: Hm.
Taylor: Man, there's so many simulators
Willie: -that I got into.
Joseph: Interesting.
Taylor: Not to be confused with Wrench Simulator, that's a mechanic, game.
Joseph: I thought you said rent. Rent simulator. You just trying to make rent.
Taylor: That's-
[Laughter]
Taylor: Yeah, that's the game I'm playing now.
Joseph: Hustling trying to make rent.
Taylor: It's honestly, yeah, it's a crazy game. IRL, it's one of those ARGs or whatever they call 'em.
00:26:50
Willie: That reminds me. Have y'all ever seen the, the House Flipper games? Have you ever watched those?
Taylor: No.
Joseph: Uh, like on the HGTV or something?
Willie: [chuckles] No like-
Joseph: Oh, like a real game?
Willie: It's a game. There's, there's a game that you literally just buy properties and go in and get, like-
Joseph: Fix 'em up and then sell 'em.
[Taylor laughs]
Willie: Fix 'em up and sell them.
Joseph: That sounds whack.
Willie: It's a whole game. So there's a whole string of games like that that I, I've been thinking about whether or not we should talk about them.
I'm curious what else, what else kind of game you could make, that's like the same vein, as that right? There's the House Flipper one where like you gotta redecorate the inside. You also have to mow the lawn to prepare it to sell.
Joseph: Maybe a car game, like where you restore old cars and then you sell them to collectors.
Taylor: I mean the, that, I was just gonna say that simulator, the, I did look at the, you know, one of the trailers or two of 'em for the, for the mechanic simulator, and it was insane. Like the amount of detail is crazy. It's like AutoCAD or something.
Willie: Yeah. The stuff that you have to do in that type of game. And then there's a, there's like a computer builder simulator.
Taylor: Wow.
Willie: Like where you're literally just piecing together a PC, putting the different parts together.
Taylor: And there's so many people that love to do that. Man, that makes so much sense. That's. I guess that's where we're going though, is at some point, especially once, once AI allows people to make any games they want to at any time, very easily and low cost and all that, I bet we're gonna see an explosion even more than we have already of simulators. And it's gonna get real niche like sidewalk side Sidewalker 2027.
Willie: I'm gonna give you one more example [Taylor laughs] and then I'm gonna ask if there is something that hasn't been made or-
Joseph: Sidewalker. [laughing]
Taylor: "Sidewalker.
[singing] Dance on a crack break your mom's back.
Sidewalker.
"Why?" Crack! [Willie laughing] "Why'd you do it deary?"
Sidewalker 2028. [Joseph laughing] This time she breaks her knees."
No. No. That's not gonna be- I mean, it might.
Willie: So there is, there's like a power washer game, power washer simulator. [Taylor and Joseph laugh] Have you ever seen someone play that? It's like literally like [laughing]
Taylor: Audience, if you play this game, I will pay you $10 to play the real, uh, sidewalk. [Willie chuckles] The real deal. I have one. I will provide you with the power washer.
Willie: Like literally they go to like different spaces and like wash off the, like, park, the like public play space. They just have to like power wash the slide and the tunnel and the like every, like the, the gravel, like not the gravel but the like, you know, the bouncy rubber ground that is there on the park-
Joseph: interesting. This-
Willie: -with the power washer.
00:29:27
Willie: So the thing that I was like, maybe we should talk about it sometime is, is there anything that's such a mundane task that you do or have done in the past that you would be like, oh yeah, we should, we could gamify that and turn it into a thing?
Taylor: Dishes. I mean, the dishes is absolutely the worst thing of all time.
Joseph: Pour over coffee. I mean, not that I, I think that's mundane. I mean, I do it every day.
Taylor: That shit's fun, dude. Chill.
Joseph: Yeah. Yeah. But you can gamify.
Taylor: That's one of my favorite tasks. Oh yeah, that's true. Oh yeah. We're just looking to gamify and not cut it out completely.
Joseph: Yes.
Taylor: Okay.
00:30:01
Joseph: Anyway. Okay, so there's no points on the board.
Willie: No points on the board still.
Joseph: Taylor's cheating.
Taylor: I- only when it's pointless.
Willie: Taylor, do you wanna go first this time?
Taylor: Yeah.
Willie: Start the bidding? Alright, so do you want a NES game or a PlayStation game?
Joseph: You better pick PlayStation, bro. 'cause if you pick NES, you're fucking done.
Taylor: Um, no. Let's do, let's do NES. I do want to go n-
Willie: Alright, so this is a 1990 release. This is the year that it was released in the US. It is rated E. It is an action adventure family game according to IMDB, and it is according to Metacritic, a side scrolling platformer. Again, 10 quotes on the board so you can start the bidding Taylor.
Taylor: Okay, I'm gonna go with. I'm gonna go with three.
Joseph: Oh damn. Okay.
Taylor: Yeah. What you want? Two. [Cackles]
Joseph: I'll let you guess.
Taylor: All right.
Willie: Alright. Quote one is, uh, "If you have never played this game, my dear friend, you must, you simply must. Delight is something a lot of games today lack. You'll find it in droves here."
Taylor: Okay.
Willie: Two. "The world takes on that charming yet simplistic look that has trademarked the series for years."
Taylor: Hmm. Okay.
Willie: Three. "He has more poses for more situations than ever before, such as flying and his old poses have been enhanced. Just look at the way he holds his cap down over his head when he ducks."
Taylor: Okay, so you can duck. There's poses. 1990. Mario one was before that.
Joseph: If you don't get this, you're off the fucking show.
00:31:38
Taylor: I'm gonna go with Mario two. Mario Bros. Numero Dos.
Joseph: Can't accept that answer.
Willie: What's the full title? Just so I, I know.
Taylor: Uh, Super Mario Bros. Number, uh, two, [Willie laughs] um, Mario and Luigia. [Joseph laughs] And Princessa and Kele. No, uh, mushroom man. Yeah, I guess it's my final guess, even though Joey's trying to make me doubt it. But that's my guess.
Willie: It is incorrect.
Taylor: Okay. Okay.
Willie: Joey, what do you got?
Joseph: I'll say Super Mario Bros. 3?
Willie: That is correct.
Taylor: Oh, okay.
Joseph: Get off me son.
Taylor: I was in the- oh, with one point dude. Get- [Willie laughs]
Joseph: I said bros just for you Taylor.
Taylor: Get 50, get uh, 50 points in a one game and then talk to me.
Willie: I did think about switching quote three and four in this one, just because three does feel like, not a giveaway, but definitely gives more information than than four.
Joseph: Mm-hmm.
Willie: Four is something that I wanna talk about because I didn't really think about this before, but it says "The first thing that may come to mind when thinking about this game's sound is the special chip that was used in the game to create more realistic drum sounds and what a difference it made."
Joseph: Hmm.
Taylor: I'ma have to hear that.
Joseph: Yeah, I think that would've been less helpful than number three.
Willie: Yeah, yeah.
Taylor: Yeah. I don't even remember drums from
Willie: So what I realized in, in thinking about this is, and, and trying to reference this and like confirm that that's like real is, I hadn't really thought about it, but all of the later games used more chips in there, in the cartridges that allowed them to access more memory, basically, so that they could access more sounds or process some of that stuff in the game versus in the console, I think, or something like that. So a lot of later Nintendo games did have better graphics and obviously better music.
Joseph: Mm-hmm.
Willie: Better sound.
Joseph: Super Mario Bros. 2 was one that I was going back and forth. I was going back and forth between two and three.
Willie: The other thing I didn't realize about this is that Super Mario Bros. 3 released in 88 in Japan, I believe.
Taylor: Golly
Willie: I didn't realize that it was like a full almost, it wasn't quite a full two years, but it was like year and a half or something, difference.
Joseph: Mm-hmm.
Taylor: What was that, uh, show? The movie that came out, the Wizard? Was that the-
Willie: Yeah
Taylor: -one with the power glove on it?
Willie: Yeah. Yeah.
Joseph: Oh, right.
Taylor: They played it in a theater or a big arena or whatever.
Willie: Quote nine is [chuckles] "If somehow you haven't played the game before or you've been boycotting everything associated with the movie The Wizard [Joseph laughs] starring Fred Savage, you need to get with the program fast." [Taylor laughs]
Joseph: Oh, wow. I didn't remember it was Fred Savage.
Taylor: Oh, yeah.
Willie: He wasn't the kid playing. He was the kid's brother.
Joseph: Mm-hmm. Okay.
Willie: Right. The wizard was, uh, his little brother.
Taylor: Oh, that's right.
Joseph: Yeah.
Willie: But you both have seen that movie, right?
Taylor: Yeah. Oh yeah.
Willie: Okay.
Taylor: Yeah, I loved it. I mean, I had the power glove, so. [laughter] Couldn't have the power glove and- well, I probably got that after, like way after, but
Joseph: I couldn't say, I remember the whole thing beginning to end. Part of me feels like I didn't see the entire thing.
Willie: I've definitely watched it within the last couple of years again, and it was fine, but it is very ridiculous, like how much that the end hinges on, like they're playing Super Mario Bros. 3 for the first time ever, like it's never been shown before.
Joseph: Yeah. And it was part of like the advertisement to, for the game, right? Like it was-
Willie: Yeah. Yeah.
Joseph: That kind of breaking news was like that there was a trailer for the game or gameplay for it in the movie.
Willie: Uhhuh. The ridiculous part about all that is like it's never been played before and the kid in like one, like one, three or whatever gets behind the like white blocks by like ducking and holding down to like, Get behind the bushes and go behind the, the curtain, you know, or whatever.
Joseph: Mm-hmm.
Willie: And it's like
Taylor: How?
Willie: Literally no one's ever played the game before. [Taylor laughs] And he like does this thing that no one's seen in a competition that's timed.
Joseph: Yeah.
Willie: And he is like catching up and gets the whistle or whatever, so he can warp ahead to get more points. And it's like so ridiculous.
00:35:31
Joseph: So what, where it is, it is 2 - 0.
Willie: Uh
Joseph: Did Taylor get a point?
Willie: Do you have two?
Joseph: Because I just stole that one right?
Willie: Uh, you did just steal that one. So that's two for you, right? Wait, where, where are your two points? We definitely didn't get one for Knights of the Old Republic, right?
Joseph: Goldeneye, right? Oh no, that was a- okay, that was practice.
Taylor: Yeah that was a fakey buddy. Yeah.
Willie: So does, does- practice doesn't count.
Joseph: Okay
Willie: So you just got one.
Joseph: So 1 - 0. Okay.
00:35:53
Willie: Alright, now, um, Joey, back to you for either a PlayStation release or a multi-platform release.
Joseph: Okay. Multi-platform.
Willie: Okay. So this was released on PC, PlayStation 4 and Xbox One, uh, in 2015. It is rated M for mature. It is an action adventure drama according to IMDB and Metacritic says it's an action RPG.
Joseph: Action RPG, okay.
Taylor: What year was it?
Joseph: 2015.
Willie: 2015.
Joseph: Uh, I'll say five.
Taylor: I'm gonna let those quotes happen.
Joseph: Oh, wow. It's brave.
Taylor: I'll allow them.
Willie: So one. "Split into several separate regions that are all huge to begin with. The lands as varied as it is disturbing. Seven years later, this game is still a staggering achievement, and thanks to the next gen update, it's better than ever."
Joseph: Okay.
Willie: Three is. "There is no morality meter, no paragon or renegade rating. In the gray scale world, there is only cause and effect. The decisions you make, both big and small can legitimately change the world around you far more so than most games that make similar claims."
Joseph: All right.
Willie: Four. "All of these factors bind together to create a rock solid combat system that not only reward caution, but encourages you to take maximum advantage of your opponent's weaknesses."
Joseph: Mm-hmm.
Willie: Then five is "The new skill system provides a good deal of flexibility while still rewarding players who want to min max for the best builds, and weapons and armor crafting as deep, as nuanced as ever, if not more so."
Joseph: Damn. Definitely needed these, 'cause this sounds like it could be many things.
Taylor: Yeah.
Joseph: Hmm. I'm thinking.
Taylor: We can smell it.
Willie: While you're thinking, the older releases are definitely harder to write for because of like finding reviews that actually like talk about things that aren't just like nostalgic, but also it's like very obvious I think with older and older games that like, it's just like the reviews just kind of say what they are in every quote or something, or like-
Joseph: Mm
Willie: -it's very clear what they're talking about. So as we get closer to present time, there's a little more variation.
00:38:01
Joseph: Okay, I'm gonna choose something I never played, and I don't know if it's even close to the release date, the release year, but I'm gonna guess uh Dark Souls III.
Willie: Is that your final answer?
Joseph: Yes.
Willie: Uh, that's incorrect.
Joseph: Fuck
Taylor: Yeah, you suck, dude.
Joseph: Whatever.
Taylor: I'm gonna go with probably an equally wrong and [Joseph laughs] incorrect answer. I'm gonna go with Skyrim because the seven year re-release, I'm like maybe. The original Skyrim came out around 2008 and then, uh, one of their, many, many re-release on all platforms. [Willie chuckles]
Joseph: Oh, I forgot it was rereleased.
Taylor: Yeah. But still what wasn't re-released is more of the question.
Willie: Is that your final answer?
Taylor: Yeah, I think it's wrong. 'cause the scary lands or whatever. It's not really scary, but go ahead.
Willie: Yeah. Uh, it's incorrect.
Taylor: Okay.
Willie: I'm gonna keep reading and then just-
Joseph: Okay. Okay.
Willie: Tell me when. "This new open world map obviously has ram- ramifications for the structure of the story. And though there are flashes of greatness, the main story is ultimately the, the least fulfilling part of the game."
Joseph: Ouch. I still don't know it.
Willie: Seven. "Political tensions run as hot as they always have in the series, and your decisions still divert the paths of Barons and Kings in intriguing ways."
Joseph: Okay.
Willie: Number eight is "Whether you've played this- played the original or not. It's the perfect time to explore the Northern Realms."
Taylor: [Whispers] Northern realm.
Willie: Those words are in fact capitalized. So it's good that you emphasized it.
Joseph: Yeah
Taylor: It's not Witcher, is it Witcher three?
Joseph: Well, it wasn't a a re-
Taylor: No. Yeah. 'cause that wasn't-
Willie: Full title.
Taylor: Uh oh. The blood hunt, [Joseph making buzzer sounds] the hunt to the blood. [Willie laughing] Hunt to the blood born [Joseph laughing] hunt to the blood
Joseph: "Hunt to the blood born."
[Laughter]
00:39:44
Taylor: Wild hunt. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt. Got it.
Willie: Yeah. You are, in fact, that is, that is it.
Taylor: Okay. Alright.
Willie: It is The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt. But obviously no points.
Taylor: That makes more sense. The horror lands.
Willie: But, yeah.
Joseph: I did not remember that that was, uh, like they did a remastered version of that. A re-release.
Taylor: Yeah, well, they,
Willie: So-
Taylor: they ramped it up. I, I just thought it was later than that.
Willie: In 2015 is when the game released. Right. And then this says this, so what I said earlier on is some of the quotes might tell you that this game has been re-released. So the original release was 2015. The review that this thing came from was obviously, I guess from 2022, 'cause it says seven years later. This game is still a staggering achievement and thanks to the next gen update, it's better than ever.
Joseph: Oh, so it wasn't a re-release.
Taylor: Huh
Willie: I guess not necessarily a re-release, but it just, there is an update for next gen consoles for the game.
Joseph: Okay.
Taylor: Hmm.
Willie: Or maybe there is a complete re-release. I don't know, but it's just, it just says next gen update.
Joseph: Yeah. Okay. I guess. I guess that's the same thing.
Willie: Yeah, it could be. Alright, so no points again. So still one point on the board, Knights of the Old Republic is out.
Taylor: Where are we at right now, time-wise? You wanna do one more?
Willie: I got one more for you.
Taylor: And then wrap it? Ok.
Joseph: Mm-hmm.
Willie: If you wanna do one more.
Taylor: Yeah, that's perfect.
Willie: So Taylor, this one's going to you, right? 'cause Joey started that one.
Joseph: Yes.
Taylor: Yes. Yep.
00:41:02
Willie: Taylor, this one is on PlayStation, originally released on PlayStation.
Taylor: Okay.
Willie: Uh, rated T for teen and it's just listed as a sports game, both on IMDB and Metacritic.
Taylor: Okay.
Joseph: Hmm.
Willie: How many quotes of 10 do you need?
Taylor: I would say, let's do I. I'm gonna go with five again. I think that's a good number.
Joseph: Hmm I'll let him have five. Yeah.
Willie: Okay. "The levels themselves are absolutely enormous. Each containing at least one hidden area, yet even with the large levels, the game runs at a nice solid speed at all times."
Taylor: And what year was it?
Willie: Uh, oh, I didn't even tell you that, did I?
Taylor: [Laughs] Oh, yeah, I was, I was listening and I was-
Willie: [Laughs] I didn't- I didn't fuckin-
Taylor: Thought I just totally flaked on it.
Willie: Nope, I didn't tell you and I didn't write it down, but let me just-
Taylor: Okay, good.
Willie: Get this other tab open over here. Uh, this is 2000.
Taylor: Ooh.
Joseph: Oh shit.
Taylor: The Matrix. [Joseph laughs] I think. I don't, no, maybe that was 98. Sorry.
Willie: I think that's 99. Alright. Two is "You don't have to finish every goal to complete the career mode, but you'll definitely go back to every level many times just to see what you can do there."
Taylor: What was the genre of it?
Willie: Sports.
Taylor: Okay.
Willie: Three is "When was the last time you played a game where you were seriously interested in racking up a record score? Heck, when was the last time you played a game that kept score at all?"
Taylor: Pfft. Every fucking game [laughing] that exists, but okay.
Willie: Four. "This is a brilliant refinement of an already brilliant game. It looks better. It sounds better. It still has some of the best controls and- the best control in the business, and it's packed full of even more secrets and features than before."
Taylor: Okay.
Willie: And five is, "The multiplayer game is just as exciting as it was in the original."
Taylor: In the original. Why would they...
Joseph: This is tough, man. This- the genre is throwing me off.
Taylor: Well, especially sports, because man, you could apply all of those to any of the. NBA games, the Lives, and then it goes into Lives and 2Ks and-
Joseph: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:42:57
Taylor: I'm gonna go with Madden 2000. Oh, but nah. Yeah. Yeah. Madden. Madden 2000, I guess. [chuckling] I don't even know if there was a Madden 2000.
Joseph: Way off.
Taylor: Okay. Way off.
Willie: Yeah. That's incorrect.
Taylor: Okay.
Willie: Joey, you gotta guess?
Joseph: Maybe. Can you reread the clue that is about [Willie chuckles] the open levels, the large levels?
Willie: Yeah. Yeah. "The levels themselves are absolutely enormous. Each containing at least one hidden area. Yet even with the large levels, the game runs at a nice solid speed at all times."
Joseph: And then there was also a quote that was about it being a, a better version of the old version of itself.
Willie: "This multiplayer game is just as exciting as it was in the original," is one of them. And then, um, I don't know if this is what you're referring to, but this, "This is a brilliant refinement of an already brilliant game." And there's more to that quote.
Joseph: Dang. Um, I'm just gonna make a, I don't know. So I'm gonna say, I can't even really think of sport games. I'm just gonna say like, Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit.
Taylor: Pfft
[Joseph and Willie laugh]
Willie: Right. Yeah. Uh, that's incorrect. [Taylor laughs]
Joseph: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We know, we know.
Willie: Alright, so I'm gonna keep going real fast through the rest of these and see if you get it. "Fluid animation show off the massive, massive amounts of tricks and spills in the game."
Joseph: Tony Hawk's Pro Skater.
Taylor: There we go.
Joseph: Two.
Taylor: Ooh. Threw that two in there.
Willie: Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 is correct.
Taylor: Yeah, that sounds right. [Joseph and Willie laughing] The spills, that was the one. That one helped.
Willie: Yeah.
Taylor: Not many of 'em that you're gonna focus on spills, like-
00:44:32
Willie: I will say, uh, in, in developing most of this. Clues one through five are typically pretty vague. Around like four or five or six, you start getting into mechanics that will tell you like something about the game.
Taylor: Okay.
Willie: And then seven and eight start including more mechanics and basically like level names or something that like-
Joseph: Mm-hmm
Willie: -Will hint at at least a series, if not the game.
Taylor: That's cool.
Joseph: Yeah, dang-
Taylor: I like that.
Joseph: I wish I would've thought of that, before.
Taylor: That was a lot of fun.
Willie: Yeah.
Joseph: Okay, so 1 - 0, right?
Willie: So did anyone ever play? Yeah. Did anyone ever play Tony Hawk, by the way?
Joseph: Mm-hmm. Hell yeah.
Taylor: Oh yeah.
Willie: I feel like you had to have played that, right?
Taylor: Ad nauseam
Joseph: Heck yeah.
Taylor: Yeah. I played that constantly. And then the, what was the re-release that they did? Was that the original one? The first-
Willie: Tony Hawks Pro Skater 1+2.
Taylor: Oh yeah.
Willie: Released together.
Joseph: Those tricks were ridiculous.
Taylor: Oh, so ri- "The Christ 780 Air!" [Laughter] Just like spinning around 30 feet up in the air.
Willie: Yeah
Taylor: Angels are singing.
Joseph: I can just see the, there's a meme going around that has like, "Even Flow," I think from Pearl Jam, like behind somebody doing that Christ pose trick.
[Laughter]
Taylor: Nice.
Willie: Yeah, I played so much of that game.
Taylor: Good stuff.
00:45:45
Willie: I will say, because we're, when we're recording this, the X Games just happened.
I did see a clip of Tony Hawk being on a board again yesterday, which is the first time in a while. Like he, he like skated on vert, just-
Joseph: Nice
Willie: -messing around. I think he was, did the best trick competition, but I didn't realize this, but he like broke his femur not too long ago and like was unsure if he was gonna even skate again.
Taylor: Ooh
Joseph: Ouch.
Willie: And so like this is the first time people have seen him in public do anything. And he did like a 540. Uh, I don't remember what it was.
Joseph: Dude, that's a big bone to break.
Taylor: Yeah.
Willie: Yeah.
Taylor: That always scares me. Like imagine skating or something or like dirt bike riding or anything that's kind of extreme like that as a major part of your life, and then suddenly you break something that, I don't know, maybe you can't do it again, or I'd just be scared to do it again. Like I, I-
Willie: Yeah
Taylor: At that point, my confidence would be so fucked up that I'd be trying to do an an. An Ollie or something simple, you know, and fuck it up so bad that I still crack my hip in half. And that's definitely just goes to show you like how much love there is in that [chuckling] dude for skating, [Joseph chuckles] really.
Joseph: Yeah, for sure.
Taylor: To just go back out and still do it. It's admirable.
Willie: Yeah. And I will say about this game, it both made me like. Want to do all of that stuff, but also know that like that shit's never gonna happen. [Joseph laughs] Like that's just not-
Taylor: Yeah. Knowing that people can even do a third of that stuff. I guess most of the tricks in the earlier ones are at least based on something somebody did.
Willie: They are, but then there's like extreme levels of like, I don't know that anyone's ever really done a Christ Air. [Taylor laughs] I mean, I guess someone probably has, but not like that.
Taylor: Yeah. Just in a different form or something. Yeah. Yeah, that's-
Willie: Definitely not with like a, a 540 or 720 attached to it. Right?
Taylor: Yeah.
Willie: But just like a, someone's probably gone off and like picked the board up and held it out like that.
Taylor: I mean, I've done it standing on the ground, you know, just standing there. I'm looking it up online [Willie and Joseph laugh] just so we can clear the air. [laughing] So we can clear the air here.
Willie: Yeah. How many people have done a Christ Air for real?
Taylor: Yeah yeah yeah
Willie: In real life?
Taylor: Christ Air is an aerial skateboarding trick where, okay, blah, blah. I don't need to know what it is. It was invented by Christ? [Joseph and Willie laugh] Wait. Oh by by Christian [chuckles] Hosoi. Sorry, y'all. Sorry. That's, uh, that's incorrect. So let's see, we got a Christ Air on YouTube. Um.
Joseph: I'm sure some 12 year old's gonna do it next year
Willie: For sure. [Joseph laughs]
Taylor: Somebody with a mullet doing it right now. That's- Oh, okay. So he, he did, that's, I mean, he did it one handed, he didn't like spin around. Oh, okay. He almost broke his knee on that one. [Joseph laughs] Anyways. It's been done half-assedly. We'll say that much.
Willie: No one's doing it like they do it in that game where you're doing like a-
Taylor: No [laughs]
Willie: -720 at the same time?
Taylor: No. Yeah. And then like finishing it with a double or triple or quadruple kick flip just for funsies. 'cause we like ankles.
Willie: Or landing, landing into a manual and then going all the way across the bottom of the vert ramp.
Taylor: [Laughs] Right, right.
Willie: Until they get to the otherside. [Laughs]
Taylor: On your nose just on the nose all the way down and you're wiggling the sticks. I'm pretty sure Tony Hawk knew how to wiggle the sticks. That was part of. His charm and talents.
Willie: Tony Hawk 2 did, Pro Skater 2 did add the manual, which like allowed you to link all those tricks together, which is why so many people got ridiculous scores in that game.
Joseph: Mm-hmm.
Taylor: Anybody who spent a good amount of time on it knows how hard it is to keep those links going. It's not an easy thing 'cause like, The way that the manual system would exponentially kind of, the longer you're in it, the harder it was to keep, if I'm not mistaken, I don't know if it was by design.
Willie: It did feel like that for sure. Yeah.
Taylor: And then, you know, eventually you have to lose it and getting that balance right and having the speed, whew. It was tough.
Willie: Yeah.
Joseph: Definitely remember like Guinness World record length grinds. In that game.
Taylor: Oh yeah.
Joseph: Like on just about everything.
Taylor: Just grinding an entire school yard or school rather.
Joseph: And you could transition like mid grind to like a different rail and then grind that and then jump back and continue grinding.
00:49:44
Taylor: Are there any Tony Hawk games? Like I've something in the back of my head...
Joseph: Yeah. Pro Skater.
Taylor: Uh, seems like No, no. Are there new ones that are coming out. I, I thought that there was a new Tony Hawk or something. Um, maybe it was-
Willie: I don't know if it's-
Taylor: -maybe it was a new skating game. Uh, but.
Joseph: There was a game called Skate.
Willie: Yeah. There is a game called Skate.
Taylor: That's probably what it is.
Willie: There's a new one called Skate that's-
Taylor: Okay.
Willie: -more recent. Grind is another one I think that's-
Joseph: Oh, yep. Yep.
Willie: -more recent.
Joseph: Mm-hmm.
Taylor: I'm surprised they don't have a Onewheel version of this yet. [Joseph and Willie laugh] Maybe it's too niche, like you just ride a Onewheel around until you break something.
00:50:22
Willie: Uh, absolute last thing. We can't talk about Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 and not talk about the music because the soundtrack was definitely
Taylor: Oh, so good.
Willie: One of the best things about that game.
Taylor: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. That was one of my favorite things about playing one and two again, was that I don't know if it had all the music or at least most of it, but man, just, and the way that they did the, the speed, like you went down, you're back up, you went down, you're back up.
You finished, you're right back restarted and. That was exactly what that game needed. 'cause it did a great job of it originally on PlayStation and then, you know, they just cranked it up and everything's almost instantaneous on the new one.
Joseph: Papa Roach dude.
Willie: Yeah, I-
Joseph: Dude, Papa Roach is on that soundtrack.
Taylor: Right.
Willie: Yeah, I know.
Taylor: [singing] "Crack my board into pieces. [Joseph and Willie laugh] I broken both my knees. Bur-nur. ch-ch."
I don't remember, [laughing] I don't remember the words to that song, but.
Willie: I mean, I think that was it.
Taylor: I'm pretty sure that was it. [Laughing] That was it. That's why that guy is so upset a lot of the time. It's just the pain of walking. [Laughs]
Joseph: Pretty sure that's why they were number one on TRL for like 12 weeks.
Taylor: T R L. [Joseph chuckles] Oh my god. Nobody who's listening to this. [Willie laughs]
Joseph: Knows TRL?
Taylor: Oh, man. Yeah [laughs]
Joseph: Yeah
00:51:34
Willie: Yeah. I mean, if you- so the games we've talked about today or you know, had some questions about- if you've, never played these games, these are games you should go play.
Taylor: Oh yeah. Bangers.
Willie: Even for Joey, who doesn't want to go see those polygons in Knights of the Old Republic. [Joseph laughs]
I think it's worth playing. It is really fun to play a Jedi that's like, you know, or a force user who can be a Jedi or be a Sith and like just you gain more powers based on how your-
Joseph: Decisions you make
Willie: -decisions go.
Joseph: Yeah. That is cool.
Willie: Yeah.
Taylor: I can't believe that they have not capitalized on that-
Joseph: Recreated that system
Taylor: -magic again, like yeah-
Joseph: Yeah.
Taylor: Like they did good with, um, with the last one. I can't ever remember the names of it. The redhead, um,
Joseph: Redhead Redemption?
Taylor: [Laughs] Redhead Redemption: the Star Wars edition. Exactly. Uh, they did a, they did a great job with those, but, somebody like me- so those linear ones are just a little better for somebody like Willie, who's really into that lore and into that world, those are a total pie right there.
They're really good. But for somebody like me, I'm more into open world. I want to be just an open world type game, but gimme that Star Wars feel of it. Like, I'll take that all day. You can take my money for that. Happily.
Joseph: Yeah, that's, that's closer to like Mass Effect.
Willie: Yeah, for sure. I mean, it's definitely that formula.
There was a Knights of the Old Republic remake that was in the works, and then like in 2022 there was rumors that it was being canceled. And then even as of May, like this year, it's like, People think the game has been canceled, but it's still listed as in development somewhere. So I like, I don't know.
Taylor: Which one?
Willie: Knights of the Old Republic, they were talking about a remake.
00:53:11
Taylor: Oh, oh a remake. That'd be cool if they gave it the right, you know, kinda like the Tony Hawk. 'cause that one's been long enough that if you really prettied it up, I would have no memory just. Similar to Tony Hawk and similar to Final Fantasy VII.
It's just such a, a marvelous like redesign of it that it's easy to get lost in it and totally forgot you've ever seen it. I mean, Final Fantasy VII, the remake. I just found myself many times looking around and saying, What was this in the original game? Have to go look it up and then say, oh my God- [chuckling]
Willie: Yeah
Taylor: You are looking down. And everybody was a block and this is beautiful. I, I don't know, man, if they put that much love into it, I'll take it.
Willie: It feels so different running around in Final Fantasy VII remake than it does like in the old game where you're looking sort of top down at everything and the map feels way different.
Taylor: Yeah.
Willie: I've been playing through that with Barbara recently.
Taylor: Right.
Willie: I don't know if you mentioned that on here.
Taylor: Yeah. Yeah you did. And that, that's a beautiful game, man. Like I love the engine. I love where their engines have gone since 15, man. Are y'all enjoying it? Y'all getting a lot of fun out of it?
Willie: Yeah. We're at the very end. Maybe we'll finish it tomorrow. Probably. Uh, maybe.
Joseph: What is this game again?
Willie: Probably Friday. Final Fantasy VII Remake.
Joseph: Seven. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Willie: We're on chapter 18 right now, like we're in the last level.
Joseph: Nice.
Willie: We just finished some fight.
Taylor: So is that the end of the half? Is that the halfway point?
Willie: No.
Taylor: Or is it like a third point of that game?
Willie: I think it's the end.
Taylor: No, no, I mean, sorry I worded that wrong, but. The actual final, Final Fantasy VII.
Willie: Oh
Taylor: Isn't it split into parts like it's two or three parts that's gonna-
Willie: There is some weird other versions of Final Fantasy VII that are coming out that I don't know what those actually are, to be perfectly honest.
Taylor: Because I, I thought that was the big deal that people were a little disappointed about. Like the only thing they were really disappointed about was that. When they played the remake, it was only a piece of Final Fantasy VII. Like it ends off at, I don't know-
Willie: Maybe I didn't realize that.
Taylor: The Shinra ex...plosion or, I don't, I don't wanna spoil it for you since you're in it, but I mean, you kind of already know the story.
Willie: Yeah.
Taylor: I wanna say it's that part where he ends up in the church. Or somebody ends up in the church, right, like in the sun, there's a hole in the roof and you can see 'em with the sunlight. I think that's where the next game picks up, which is really, that's where it gets fucking crazy,
Willie: I guess. Yeah. This, oh, so this does make sense to me and it makes sense to why, like, I recognize where I am right now because it is, it may be the halfway point.
It is like the Midgar section of the game. So you're right, it's like where the Shinra stuff ends. 'cause that's where I am right now. Like I know what's going on there.
Taylor: And you're about to go full on Sephiroth like the next one. I, I think And that's-
Willie: Yeah, exactly.
Taylor: I can't wait for that man. Just that kind of the treatment they gave that to see like- 'cause the second half of that when you go- Oh right. 'cause that's the open world part.
Willie: Right, exactly.
Taylor: Where Okay. Okay. That's where you really open up. Oh my god. I can't wait to see how they, uh, treat the, what are they called? The engines or, uh-
Willie: Yeah
Taylor: -not monsters. Like the, the giant Ultra.
Willie: Oh, the summons.
Taylor: The summons. No, the, oh man. It's been too long and my brain doesn't work, but- the giant monsters, like the legendary monsters that you're chasing around
Willie: Mm-hmm
Taylor: Once you're- are those all summons or I thought some were-
Willie: No, some of them are, but I, I, no.
Taylor: Right. Some are. You can, you can capture 'em, but, some are just bad. Ultimate Weapons?
Willie: Yes. That.
Taylor: Is that it? Ultimate Weapons?
Willie: Yeah, yeah.
Taylor: Okay. All right. Oh man. I cannot wait to see what they do with that, because those were so freaking epic.
That was the, the beginning of the, we're gonna make these cut scenes so long [laughs] and epic and ridiculous, and, and you wanted to sit there and watch it. Anyways. Sorry to take it off on a tangent, but
Willie: No, it's all good. I think-
Taylor: Can't wait.
00:57:10
Willie: The whole point was to play this game and talk about whatever games came up, so I'm glad. Thanks for trying it out, for playtesting it a little bit.
Joseph: I like it, man.
Taylor: That was fun.
Joseph: Yeah.
Taylor: Yeah, that was fun, man. Thanks for putting that together.
Willie: Yeah, and I think, you know, if y'all ever want to put it together, just in your spare time, you could also. Even one game at a time. Just one like video game at a time.
Just pick a game and go look up a few reviews and pick some random quotes. The hardest part is putting them in order, in which you think, this is the least revealing, this is the most revealing.
Taylor: We should do that. We'll, we'll alternate, um, games-
Joseph: Mm-hmm.
Taylor: -sometime because then that then, you know, you get a little bit of everybody's spice in there as far as the things we choose to tell and tips and all. [laughs]
Willie: Yeah. Yeah.
Joseph: Exactly.
Taylor: I mean, you also get a little crazy with it and maybe. Maybe one or two you get up to two of the 10 can be straight up wild cards where it's your own quote. [Willie and Taylor laugh] I think it still has to have some relevance or something, but in those, you could get wild with it. Take a quote from the game. Or maybe throw in an obscure weird fact about it.
Willie: Yeah
Taylor: That'd be fun.
Willie: For sure. It, it could be anything.
Taylor: I like it.
Willie: 'cause we just made it up. So, uh, yeah, thanks for play testing it. We'll do some more in the future. Uh, and if you're listening, thanks for listening so much. We appreciate it. Yeah, we've got a bunch of ideas in the works for things like this, but also more games to talk about. We have more games to play, so
[Outro theme begins to fade in - Caribbean Arcade by Christian Nanzell]
Joseph: Yeah. Yeah.
Willie: Thanks for listening along with us and, uh
Taylor: Hell yeah.
Joseph: Stick around.
Taylor: I think we just, we just passed our 1000000th download [Joseph laughs] and we really wanna thank you guys for that. And the sponsorship, uh, with, uh,
Joseph: Nintendo
Taylor: Jimmy Gerald Games
Joseph: [laughs] Jimmy Gerald Games
Taylor: uh, incorporated, limited, uh, trademark.
Joseph: All right, let's get outta here. Wah-CHOP!
Taylor: Let's roll.
[Outro theme continues - Caribbean Arcade by Christian Nanzell]
00:58:54
Joseph: Berries and Blades is an independent podcast created by Joseph Bullard, Willie Garza and Taylor Garratt. Thanks for tuning in, and consider subscribing if you enjoyed listening to this episode. You can also support us by telling your friends about the show, and we hope to see you in the next episode of Berries and Blades.
Until then, thanks again.
[Outro theme fades out - Caribbean Arcade by Christian Nanzell]
Willie: Well also because we were talking about Chad Kroeger earlier, real fast. I was like looking him up 'cause I was trying to see, uh, anything about him. But, uh, his IMDB mini bio says "Sometimes he is referred to as the Scary Jesus man on TV." That's the first line of his IMDB bio, and I don't know what that means.
Notes:
Links to reviews of GoldenEye 007:
Links to reviews of Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic:
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic Review
STAR WARS: Knights of the Old Republic Review (Switch eShop)
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic Switch review
Links to reviews of Super Mario Bros. 3:
Links to reviews of The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt:
Links to reviews of Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2: